The Wellness Advice We Keep Coming Back To

After more than twenty years of caring about health and wellness, we've tried a lot of things.

We've eaten Paleo and Keto. We've eliminated entire food groups. We used to run. We've fasted. We've been rigid about what we'd allow our kids to eat. We've followed protocols, changed routines and tried plenty of things that promised to make us healthier.

Some of them genuinely helped. Some worked for a season. Some didn't work nearly as well as we'd hoped.

And somewhere along the way, we realized that we had bought into the over-complication of wellness, too.

These days, we're much less interested in the latest thing that's supposed to change everything. We've watched too many trends come and go over the past two decades to believe very many magic-bullet promises anymore.

That doesn't mean we've stopped learning or trying new things. Far from it. But we're more willing to ask whether something actually makes sense for us - and a lot less likely to assume that because something is good for someone else, it must be good for us too.

Interestingly, most of the wellness advice we keep coming back to isn't particularly groundbreaking.

It's actually pretty simple.

Eat real food most of the time

These days, we're all about balance.

We eat what we'd consider healthy food probably 70–80% of the time. For us, that means plenty of animal protein, salads and vegetables, fruit, eggs and fish. We've learned that we generally feel better eating mostly gluten- or grain-free, so that's how we tend to eat.

And then sometimes we eat pizza. Or noodles. Or bread. Or dessert… and then extra dessert. And we enjoy the hell out of it!

Our oldest daughter is a professional baker so we blame her lol.

That's a pretty big departure from some earlier seasons of our lives when healthy eating came with much more rigidity.

We've learned that discipline doesn't have to mean restriction.

If your "healthy habits" create enormous amounts of stress or suck all the joy out of your life, it's worth asking how healthy those habits really are.

We've also learned that what works for one of us doesn't necessarily work for the other.

Matt does well with intermittent fasting a few times a week. I don't. I feel considerably better when I prioritize protein throughout the day, so I aim for around 120 grams. Our teenage daughters eat well but also eat plenty of foods typical teenagers eat - and tolerate some of them much better than we do these days.

There isn't one perfect way to eat!

Eat nourishing, real food most of the time. Figure out what makes your body feel good. And when you choose the treat, enjoy it instead of attaching guilt to it.

Protect your sleep

We probably understand the importance of sleep more now than we ever have.

Poor sleep doesn't just make us tired. After a few bad nights, we notice it everywhere: energy, patience, ability to think clearly, mood and outlook.

And we're certainly not saying that from the perspective of two people who have mastered eight blissful, uninterrupted hours every night. Life doesn't always cooperate.

Our middle daughter, Dylan, is 19 is disabled and it affects how she sleeps. She doesn't sleep unless one of us sleeps with her. So trust us when we say: we understand that sometimes "get more sleep" is much easier advice to give than it is to follow.

We focus instead on protecting the sleep we can get.

A consistent bedtime. Cool, dark rooms. Not eating too close to bed. Being thoughtful about things that interfere with sleep. Using supportive supplements when we need them.

Perfect sleep isn't always possible. Making it a priority usually is.

Move your body - it counts even if you don't call it a workout

There have been seasons when structured workouts fit easily into our lives.

This isn't one of them lol.

We're raising a family, caring for our adult disabled daughter and running businesses. Getting to a gym or studio regularly just isn't realistic right now.

So we walk. We hike. We swim in the summer. We do yard work and house projects. We find ways to use our bodies and maintain our strength without needing every instance of movement to qualify as a "workout."

HIIT can be great. So can CrossFit, yoga, kettlebells and countless other ways of exercising. But only if they fit your life well enough that you'll actually do them.

Good old-fashioned walking counts.

So does hiking. And swimming. And working in your yard.

Sometimes the best form of exercise is simply the one you can continue doing. 

Get outside

If we could prescribe one incredibly simple thing for almost everyone, it might be this:

Go outside!

Seriously. Take a walk. Sit in the sun. Hike somewhere beautiful. Put your phone away for a little while.

It's remarkable how quickly time outside can change how your mind and body feel.

When we go too long without enough rest, hobbies, joy or time outside, we notice (and so do the people around us). We become more overwhelmed, pessimistic, impatient and generally less like ourselves.

Often we don't need another hack. We need some fresh air and a walk. 

Pay attention to what makes you feel good

This may be one of the biggest lessons we've learned with age: Pay attention.

Notice how food makes you feel. Notice how much better you function after good sleep. Notice what happens when you don't drink enough water. Notice whether a certain kind of exercise energizes you or leaves you dreading tomorrow.

And don't stop with the traditional "health" things.

Pay attention to how products, habits, people, jobs, hobbies and environments make you feel too.

Be willing to acknowledge when something isn't working for you - even if everyone else seems convinced it's wonderful. 

Then, as much as you're able, keep more of the things that make you feel well and limit or let go of the things that don't. 

Your answers won't always be the same as someone else's. Make your peace with that.

Rest is not a luxury

Stress management isn't something to worry about after you've perfected your diet and exercise routine. It's part of your health.

We've learned that we can't continually pour from an empty cup and expect everything else to function well.

Find ways to rest that actually restore you. Spend time with people you love. Have hobbies. Laugh. Move your body. Build strong relationships. Nurture your faith. Eat dinner together. Put down your phone. Do things simply because they bring you joy.

And be careful about relying on food or substances to do the job that real rest and healthy coping mechanisms are meant to do.

The basics keep winning

If one of our daughters asked us today what she really needed to do to stay healthy as she got older, our answer would be considerably simpler than it might have been twenty years ago.

Drink enough water.

Eat healthy food most of the time - and allow yourself the foods that bring you joy without guilt.

Move your body most days.

Protect your sleep.

Get outside.

Pay attention to how things make you feel.

Build a life that includes people, faith, hobbies and things that fill you back up.

And don't assume you need to adopt every new wellness trend that comes along.

There may be seasons when something more specific is helpful. We've experienced plenty of those ourselves. But after all these years of trying, learning, changing our minds and figuring out what actually works in real life, we keep coming home to the same things.

Water. Sleep. Real food. Movement. Fresh air. Rest. Joy. Connection.

Maybe the basics aren't particularly exciting.

But they have a pretty remarkable track record.